I woke up this morning feeling pretty lousy. I had overslept, which is easy for me to do on Mondays, still felt exhausted, and didn't want to get out of bed... at all! I eventually wandered downstairs, made a large cup of coffee, and then my brain started churning out all these negative thoughts: "I feel awful. I just want to sit here and do nothing. What's wrong with me? Why do I always feel like this?" And this went on and on... until the thought entered my mind, "What can I do that will make me feel happy?"
That's a huge red flag for me! (Another is, "I deserve this.") When I'm actively thinking about/wishing for things that will make me happy, I've reached the top of my self-centered scale. When I'm there, I quickly become resentful of others, angry over little things, and depressed about my own life. I don't know if you can relate to this particular line of thinking, but I have a feeling some of you may... The point is that I need to catch myself in this downward, selfish spiral and remember that I am here to serve others. God is always with me, and only when I am being of service to others am I positioning myself to receive God's blessing.
Teach me to be generous.
Teach me to serve you as you deserve,
To give and not to count the cost.